How God Saved Me

Who Am I?  I'm nobody! I'm worthless!  How can you still love me after everything?   You'd think that when the Lord and Savior opens his hands and heart and welcomes you home that you would accept it without question and with excitement.   Well, when the enemy has been in your head for as long as it had me it isn't that easy.  It's hard to even trust God.  You think things like:  Why would you wait for me?  Are you going to punish me now?  Why would you want someone as worthless and broken as I am? And so many others.   Do any of these sound familiar?   Instead of getting answers I felt like all I got was more questions.  And the enemy doesn't give up easily.  The more I tried to find the answers the louder he got in my head.    I had a lot of long hard talks with God over the next month and sometimes I would get answers and sometimes I would get more questions.  But two things happened that really open...

Let me set the scene for you… I had been in a relationship for 12 years… because he loved me.  I should have learned my lesson right?  'Then how did you last so long?' you may ask.  I had put up enough walls to make myself very independent.  The relationship pretty much creeped up on me .  We had met through some friends and we got together a few times.  He was a truck driver so he was only around on weekends, which was fine by me.  If you think about it we were really only together about 3 1/2 years.  Still would have been my longest relationship. Anyway, little by little he started moving in and I didn't even really notice it until he started moving my stuff so there was room for his.  Oh well, who cares. No I was not in love with him.  I cared for him in a good friend kinda way.   I still didn't know how to love myself, let alone anyone else.  Every relationship I had up to this point was either mentally, emotionally, o...

To understand how I was saved I guess I first need to tell you  where I started. I'm a cradle Catholic so I have known God my whole life.  I went to church every week and attended Sunday school.  But life happens. I come from a typical large Catholic family.  I have great parents and I love all my big brothers.  Sounds like a perfect childhood huh?  But the darkness was working against me from a young age. At the age of 7 I was molested by a member of the extended family.  At first I thought what he was doing was wrong, but when it kept happening I started thinking that there must be something wrong with me. I never told anyone because I was afraid, then I felt guilty because I thought it was my fault.   The darkness in my heart toward him was so bad that when he died many years later I didn't go to his funeral because I was afraid I would dance on his grave.  Just being honest y'all.  I know it makes me sound bad but at the tim...

Hi!  Welcome to my blog.  I've never wrote a blog before and I am not a professional writer.  The good Lord has put it in my heart to tell my story... and He's been very insistent... so that is what I'm going to do. I am not here to call anyone out our hurt anyone so please forgive me but i will be changing some names.  Some of the things I am about to tell you my family doesn't even know.  This is my Atty of protecting them and that of others involved.  I'll try to post at least once a week but life happens so no promises. Now that all that has been said... Hi, I'm Lisa and this is my story of how God saved me....